Marriage

Congratulations to everyone who supported and advocated for same-sex marriage! This event certainly brings a sense of normalcy for many in the queer community, especially those who have found their partners, and those with dreams of finding theirs.

Not only does it provide legal protections (whether it’s 100% is questionable), but it also adds a level of legal commitment. Not many people think about this, and perhaps it comes from the vestiges of the time before all this was ever possible, that anyone looking to marry a same-sex partner had to be financially stable and intellectual enough to navigate the legal system to make legal protections work for them and their partner. This took a lot of work, effort, and money, and it became people’s whole lives. There were enough of these couples who made it their lives to get this movement going.

So when it comes to same-sex marriage, I’m happy for these people.

As for me, I have never been really into marriage, firstly because I was expected to marry a guy, but when I came out and started dating, I realized that I didn’t want to hold someone down. This feeling was especially strong when I dated people I highly respected. I didn’t know whether I could have a place in their lives in the long-term. I wasn’t sure if they’d stay interested. I didn’t know how we could make it work. I had my parents and sister to think about, and I had my own lofty dreams for a kid from a refugee immigrant family who gave up their middle class lives about to come crashing down by a new regime to start over in a foreign country.

They say that you should be with someone who can deal with you at your best and at your worst. The world is a moving so much these days that we don’t give each other a chance.

 

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